Well, that’s Christmas all done and dusted for another year. Thank the lord for that. Not that I hate Christmas, I really don’t. I actually quite like it. But, why do people go totally mental for the two weeks around Christmas and New Year, that’s the bit that winds me up. Here are five things that particularly get on my proverbials every December.
Pub opening times/pub goers – Stop messing about with opening times because of a lack of available staff. You’re in a service industry so you can’t moan that it’s not fair that you have to work when everyone else is getting bladdered. That’s the deal, I’m afraid! Work on a building site or a factory that shuts down over Christmas if you want time off. And while I’m at it, if you’re one of those punters who doesn’t normally go in a pub for the other 50 weeks of the year, either learn the rules and etiquette or stop getting in the way at Christmas time.
Drivers – In between Christmas and new year the roads are full of people who seemingly learned to drive by watching Driving Miss Daisy. I presume these people must never drive the rest of the year because it doesn’t half show. Get an Uber or, better still, stay at home.
What day is it? – “Ooh, you never what day it is at this time of year, do you?” Why not, how can you not know? You’re an adult, get a grip. There are only seven to choose from anyway, stop being an idiot!
Ooh, look at me! – At this time of year, if you believe social media, there isn’t a couple on earth who aren’t blissfully happy. Sorry, but no-one’s falling for it. We know you’ll be back at each other’s throats before the end of the London fireworks. And even if you genuinely are blissfully happy, nobody’s arsed. They’re not arsed that 2026 is going to be “your year”, either.
Mobbed shops – Asda closes for 24 hours on Christmas Day and re-opens at the crack of dawn on Boxing Day. Most of the other major supermarket chains do the same. How can you possibly need to rush there on Boxing Day when you it was only late on Christmas Eve that you filled up three trollies.
See you in the queue for the checkouts Griff
