The Cambridge Dictionary – which I presume is the cheaper, poor-relation version of the Oxford English Dictionary – has announced its Word of the Year this week. The word is parasocial. Nope, I hadn’t heard of it either until it cropped up on the news earlier in the week.
Apparently, parasocial is defined as “a one-sided relationship felt by someone between themselves and a famous person they do not know.” So, it’s more than that clangy, show-off name-dropping thing when people bore the life out of you talking about famous people who they say they actually know but, more accurately, they probably met briefly once and said hello in a hotel lift.
No, this is more about those Walter Mitty-types who live in a complete fantasy world inside their own heads in which they believe they personally know, and have a full-on relationship with, a celebrity who they do not know from Adam. The phenomenon has come about because of our modern-day access to sports, music and move stars through our tenuous exposure to their private lives via social media. Surprise, surprise, the key example they give is Taylor Swift and her American rugby-playing boyfriend, so you get the drift.
Sad, those folk who, pretend or think they know famous people, aren’t they? I’m so glad I’ve never been like that. Well, not totally like that, anyway. I’m genuinely unsure if any of the following fall into the parasocial category but, why don’t you read on and judge for yourself… .
Kylie Minogue – I used to fancy Kylie Minogue. In fact, I still do. But when I was younger, I used to really fantasise about her (No, not in that way, get your head out of the gutter, perve!) However, I did fancy her like mad and imagined what it would be to be in a relationship with her. We may or may not have had imaginary phone calls together. And before anybody gets on the phone to Operation Yew Tree, we’re about the same age so it was legal, if a little bit weird .
Alex Moore – If a relationship with a global superstar Kylie was always bound to be a tad unattainable you’d think that getting to know the lead singer of a fantastic up and coming young band called The Lathums from your home town of Wigan would be much easier to achieve. And it is, I do have a real relationship with Alex Moore, I don’t need to know him parasocially. That’s not true, I don’t know him at all. I lied. Apart from the fact that, last Friday night, he wandered into The Harrow, my local pub, and I bored him silly at the bar like a giggling school-boy for ten minutes. That’s not parasocial though, is it? It’s just that sad, name-dropping clingy think I mentioned before, innit?
Shania Shegull – I’m stretching this a bit now. I don’t need to have a parasocial relationship with Shania Shegull, as “she” is a character I invented about ten years ago following a close encounter with a real seagull in Brighton. Shania has her own Facebook page. She has lain dormant for some time now, but I am thinking of reviving her career. To be fair, she used to get far more attention than my own, genuine real-life Facebook posts so why not? Not parasocial, not name-droppy but very blatant and shamelessly pluggy. Go check her out on Facebook. Please.
Chris Griffin – I’m pretty sure you can’t have a parasocial relationship with yourself. However, throughout my younger years I have created versions of myself in my head where I have variously been the captain of Wigan Athletic and England, a member of The Jam with Paul Weller and the number one golfer in the world, with numerous Ryder Cup and major championship victories to my name. I have lost count of the number of imaginary interviews I have given to Sky Sports over the year in front of the bathroom mirror.
Psychiatrist – I have just read all that back. I almost deleted the lot. I am now certain that I don’t want a parasocial relationship with a psychiatrist or some other kind of therapist, but I probably do need a real relationship with one!
See you on the quack’s couch – Griff
