Here are five things that have been grinding my gears in the pub recently.
Reels and videos – if you want to watch your shitty Tol-Tok reels and Insta reels at full blast, go home and do it. No-one is interested.
Face Time – stop video-calling your mates and your family at top note. You’re supposed to be in the pub to get away from all that crap!
Can I get? – No, you can’t get a coke, because you don’t work here. You can HAVE one, but the staff will have to GET it for you. It’s not America!
Bare Chest and Caps – FFS lad, put you tee shirt back on. No-one wants to see your bare tin-ribbed chest with I heart Mum tatooed on your shoulder blade. And take your baseball cap off, while you’re at it. Where do you think you are, Skanksville, Iowa?
Feral kids – no issue with kids being in pubs but if you can’t keep them still, quiet and well-behaved without screaming and effing and jeffing at them at the top of your voice, muzzle them and keep them on a lead.
See you in the beer garden – Griff
